


page 80 but everytime jeremy jerks off it's replaced by fireflies

by 1989



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Crytyping, Dolphins, M/M, bling bling boy, crackfic, credit to pasek and paul, does this count as a songfic, its just a prank bruh, page 80 but realistic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-11-28 19:28:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11424609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1989/pseuds/1989
Summary: jeremy jerks off to michael on the phone. what other information do you need





	page 80 but everytime jeremy jerks off it's replaced by fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> there's some weird jokes ahead but it's nothing you wouldn't see in a normal page 80 fic

jeremy felt torn as he looked down at his phone. should he really go through with this??? there could be some serious repercussions for masturbating to his best friend's voice without his consent. it was probably illegal in some jurisdictions.

after a minute of deep contemplation, jeremy said fuck the police because he has no concept of right or wrong and pressed the call button on his friend's contact

it picked up before the first ring because michael has severe co-dependency issues. "hi jeremy, what's crackalackin my straight buddy, i totally wasn't sitting by the phone waiting for you to call me all day haha wat"

jeremy whipped out his dick and started jacking off because for some reason the sound of his best friend's voice was a major turn on. "michael shut the fuck up and talk to me about the discovery channel or something"

"oh okay sure, that's not too random or weird at all." so microphone talks about a documentary on aquatic life, specifically dolphins, and germy fartz puts him on speaker so he can, idk, jack it with both hands

"mmm," jizz moans accidentally into the phone.

"um jeremy are you okay?" metropcs asks. 'oh no,' germx blushes, 'i've been EXPOSED' *berleezy sirens go off in the background*

"mm YEAH i'm fine michael just k-keep talking about those d-dolphins" he says quickly, still somehow jacking off

"oh okay," michelin man says because he can't put two and two together for some reason even though he's talking to germy yiff yiff heere

mickey mouse keeps talking about whatever and jezebel imagines him sucking his dick in a fursuit. "MMMM YEAH MICHAEL FUCK,"

"jeremy....... are you getting off to this?" michael asks finally even though it was obvious 80 pages ago, y'know, maybe michael's secretly in on this and it's some sort of sick roleplay

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"jeremy stop crytyping, this is a real life conversation," michael said.

"bubt I ruined ou r f rie..ndshhip," bling bling boy responded, tears running down his mayonnaise coloured cheeks.

"i'm not mad at you though."

"w-wait you're not?" he sniffed. the authour would like to note that mucinex is still masturbating and has made literally no effort to stop despite being called out

"no!" michael jackson responded. "i don't think you jacking off while we have a normal conversation violates our trust or is morally wrong at all."

"oh."

"so MMMM," michael moaned because i guess he's masturbating too now, "you know what i would do if i was there?" he asked, suddenly turning into a sex starved deviant even though he's been a perfectly normally person up to this point in the story

"what?"

"i would tear off your clothes and kiss down your chest," mj started, punctuating each word with a different weird dolphin noise

"oh fuuuuck michael," germy from icarly said, moaning like a little bitch

"then i would bite off your dick and shove a turkey baster up your ass," michael said in a he-man voice

"ohhhh MY GOD YEAH" jeremy didn't bother turning the speaker on his phone off through this entire ordeal even though his dad was probably home because, once again, fuck the police

"mmmm yeah baby boy you like that?"

"OH FUCK YEAH DADDY IM GONNA ORGANISM" jeremy you have neighbours, why are you shouting these things

"MM YEAH DO IT BABY BOY"

germy algorithmed everywhere and panted into the phone. "oh my god michael that was so good," he said, still jacking off for some reason

"yeah," michael said

"so, u-um," beef jerky blushed. "i've been secretly in love w-with you for three years, do y-you wanna be boyfriends?"

"sure whatever," michael said and hung up

just then jeremy's dad burst into the room "JEREMY I HEARD YOU YELL MY NAME ARE YOU OKAY?"

"i can't live like this anymore" the squip said and shot itself in the head 

then everyone exploded 

 

the end

**Author's Note:**

> no shade @ ppl who write these fics i just could not physically sleep until i got this out of my system


End file.
